Once again, medical problems have stopped me from delivering reviews. But rest assured, they’re a-coming!

Until then, let me bide you over with my view on the upcoming Sucker Punch movie…

To anyone still wondering, my Film Studies Level deductions of the trailer tell me that the main character – indeed, all the female characters – are nuttier than a squirrel’s fart, hence dooming them to the Loony Bin.

Naturally, they want to escape but, being physically frail young 50s gals they have no hope of overpowering the many armed guards this asylum apparently has (I counted two).

Along comes their fairy godmoth-I mean, dance instructor type woman who tells them that their mind is the ultimate weapon, and within their own dreamscapes THEY are the masters of everything. They enter the Matri-their dreams, get suited and booted and proceed to lay waste to everything in sight (‘everything’ seemingly meaning nazi zombies and twenty-foot tall samurai mechs toting chainguns the size of a steam train with nothing more than wire-fu and a really shiny katana. Which makes perfect sense. Shut up) in their mission to collect five powerful objects (The rings of Earth, Wind, Water, Fire, and Heart!) with which to finally break free of their prison and, I dunno, go be bats**t crazy somewhere else.

Whether my analysis proves to be right or wrong who cares there’s girls swordfighting giant warrior mechs!!!

*Ahem*

That is all.

Dave

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